Kindness is interesting, I would define true kindness as the act of giving with no expectation in return.

However, in this world of me, do we often see kindness as kind of weird. Through our life experiences we each have been trained in our thoughts and perspectives of what kindness is, what it means, what the intention behind someone’s kindness is, so that it is often lost what the kind act is.

Kindness can be manipulated and taken advantage of.

I remember my wife creating happiness mugs at work. The intention was to fill the mug with something with a message attached to show appreciation for that persons hard work, or just for being who they were. Then you asked them to pass it on. The intention was to just do something kind without shining a light on yourself.

The impact was awesome, the organisation then decided to take this and use it as a PR stunt to promote wellbeing, completely missing the point.

The intention then turned from service to self-interest – look what we have done to promote wellbeing. Occupational Health congratulations!!!!

Can Kindness Impact our Wellbeing?

Yes, but as you can see from the example above it is not the act but the intention behind the act.

Kindness means being nice or offering the best of yourself to someone whether it be a minute, second, or longer. Be that in thought, deed or anything else which brings joy to another without the thought of receiving anything back.

Wellbeing is a bit trickier, according to Google wellbeing is defined as “the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy”

Therefore kindness is an act that allows another to feel seen, appreciated and maybe even loved, in as many forms as there is love.

Kindness is brought to another by the presence of positive emotions through an act of service by someone else or by yourself. We often forget to be kind to ourselves.

Let’s face it most of us would never speak to another person the way we speak to ourselves.

Proven Benefits

There are not only benefits to the receiver but also to the giver.

Recipients of kindness can feel loved, but making someone’s day can feel good too.

Recipients and givers of kindness can experience a sense of awe when they think about profound acts of love or virtue.
Biologically Oxytocin the “love hormone” is released when we commit and receive kindness and this helps to lower blood pressure, improve overall heart health, increase self-esteem and optimism.

Kindness can increase the feeling of strength and energy due to helping others, it creates connection.

Kindness can also make one feel calmer. Less depressed.

Increased feelings of self-worth. No need for anti-depressants

Kindness decreases pain, by generating endorphins (the brain’s natural painkiller).

Interesting Statistics

The research and science on common outcomes, behaviours, emotions in positive psychology are increasing by the year. In 2010, the Harvard Business School conducted a survey on happiness in 136 countries. Through this study, they found evidence that people who were generous financially, like with charitable donations, were the happiest overall.

Kindness to self

It is important to understand why giving without the expectation of receiving back is so important though.

When we give to receive, we set an expectation which increases stress, therefore we are not going to create the chemicals of love and happiness.

Throughout life, as we learn new things, grow, change our minds and even change our habits, new networks of new brain connections are laid down and old networks unravel.

Your brain is wired in the form of connections between cells where over time all your feelings, emotions, and body language is wired extensively into these circuits. Therefore we can change the wiring of our brain through simple acts of kindness becoming a habit in our everyday lives, taking us back to a more pure state of love.

One of the principles I teach in my RTT 21 Day Intesif 1 to 1 coaching and my 5-week group coaching is around tolerance and boundaries, in this I show how to give without needing to receive.

When put into practic the outcomes for the client are amazing, as if a weight is lifted.

How can you start that journey today?

6 Examples of Random Acts of Kindness

1. Smile genuinely at 5 strangers throughout your day and just say hello

2. Take some flowers or sweet treats to a nurse’s station at a nearby hospital.

3. Give up your seat so someone else can sit on the train or bus.

4. Hold the door open for someone.

5.Make a goodie bag of treats, canned food, and warm gloves, socks or a hat and give it to a homeless person.

6. Do a heartfelt shout-out to one of your co-workers that did an great job on a project

Get creative and let us know how it went.