Sharing thoughts about the ones we loved

In choosing who to focus on for my first Grief Recovery completion, the decision for me was a relatively easy one to make as although it wasn’t the person who was the subject of my first loss, my Mum, it was the one who I felt closest to & missed most when they died, my Dad, both of whom are pictured.

My Dad was a very special person & my hero, because once my Mum had tried to take her own life, he decided to give up his job to care for her, as she had cared for him when he was seriously ill. He was a great Dad, who was always there & always seemed to know what to do, even when I rang him on the verge of a nervous breakdown. On that occasion, he calmly advised me to go & see my doctor to get help, which I duly did. He also managed to stay calm when years later he told me that he had terminal cancer & subsequently decided to have no further treatment. Instead he wanted to enjoy what little time he had got left & so I did everything I could to be there to share it with him, before he sadly passed away a year later. To say his death was devastating is an understatement, but I count myself very fortunate to have had a family of my own by then who I turned to for comfort, albeit the grief of my loss still lingered.

Consequently working through this grief as part of the Grief Recovery Method wasn’t an easy thing to do, as inevitably I started thinking of all the things I wished I’d done better, more or differently, with my Dad. However what it did give me was the opportunity to reflect on all the times we shared, good & bad & these memories helped to facilitate my recovery. Now when I look back, whilst I may be sad that he is no longer here, I don’t have the pain that those memories used to evoke or caused me to breakdown in tears for many years.

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In session 6, we will be sharing without commenting details of individual relationships which although may be a difficult task, it is an important & necessary one as it help us to focus on what has been left incomplete in the remaining sessions.

 Lisa Richards: Certified Grief Recovery Specialist