Words are Powerful and Your Mind is Listening

Words are Powerful and Your Mind is Listening

Words are Powerful and Your Mind is Listening

I love that quote from my mentor Marisa Peer “Words are powerful, and your mind is listening” because it’s true.

It’s often the simplest changes that have the biggest impact and the way you dialogue with yourself is so important.

The mind doesn’t understand the negative it just reacts to what you tell it.

“DON’T think of a Pink Elephant”

What are you thinking of?

This is why with all the love, respect and admiration I have for therapists and coaches the words they use can often make life worse.

If you have ruminating thoughts, butterflies in your tummy and you can’t sleep, you get the label of Anxiety, you are told “You have Anxiety”, so you tell yourself “I have Anxiety”

However let’s take those same symptoms, ruminating thoughts, butterflies in your tummy and you can’t sleep, but this time you are 4 years old and it’s Christmas eve and you are excited and thinking over and over again about what you are going to get on Christmas day, is that Anxiety?

Same feeling different story.

When we replace phrases like “I have Anxiety” or “I can’t cope” with less impactful statements like “The Anxiety” or we reframe it completely with “ I have phenomenal coping skills” we get a different relationship with that feeling.

This isn’t about positive thinking or pretending everything is amazing; indeed, thinking positively when things objectively aren’t, can be unhelpful and set up expectations that can’t always be fulfilled.

It’s about re-framing the events or experiences in your life to reflect a different, more realistic picture. I often say to clients there is no right or wrong, there are only lessons and the biggest breakthroughs are leaning into those dark thoughts and listening to the truths.

I have a method called the 4 R Journaling Method which uses a system to find the truth or evidence in the story you are telling yourself. Clients find it so empowering because they become their own therapist, coach or best friend. The method looks at re-framing the relationship we have with our thoughts, feelings and the labels we use, to investigate the truth about what we are experiencing and the words we use.

Almost all of us talk to ourselves, but few of us examine the way we talk to ourselves. We forget the power of words and how they can shift our perception of ourselves and situations.

We forget that inner child who we scold and put down, yet most of us would never speak to someone else, let alone a small child in the way we speak to ourselves as adults.

If you’re a parent, be mindful of this because the way we speak to ourselves, even in jest, it can be a program we install into those we love.

Try this phrase and see how your body reacts next time you do something which makes you feel inadequate.

If you ever say “I am so stupid”, replace it with “I am such a silly billy”, which phrase is more powerful?

When you pay close attention to the words and phrases, you’re constantly saying to yourself you identify some repeat offenders — such as the “I can’t cope” refrain. Ask yourself:

Would you talk to your best friend that way?

Would you say “Oh, you’re always messing things up,” “You’re so hopeless,” or “You really have taken on way too much, you’ll never get it all done?”

Chances are, if you’re a good friend, you won’t dream of saying those things. Instead, you would be kind, encouraging and helpful.

You may say:

Life isn’t perfect, but we all do the best we can,” or “I’m sure you’ll get through it, and I’ll help you.”

Be kind, encouraging, empathetic and supportive of yourself, and you’ll be amazed how much easier the world around you seems to become.


If you sought value in this article and the words within it, why not share it with a friend or loved one.

Who do you know who needs to become their own best friend?

Find out more at www.makeyourlifecount.co.uk

#globalforgivenessday

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The Centre for Integral Health was started in 2013 by director Ben Calder after studying Integral theory since 2011 and over 10 years of professional practice of kinesiology and Bowen fascia Release Technique, coupled with the desire to explore the application of the Integral Model in relation to health.

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