Grief Recovery Method Group Pilot

Week 4: A Quick Fix ?

The more we bury our feelings, the more potentially damaging it is to our overall mental health & wellbeing, but when we do feel down, we will often look for something to make us feel better. Whilst eating chocolate is often a favourite because it releases chemicals within our system to make us feel good, there are many more things we reach out for & use to try to lift our mood.

Following my mum’s suicide attempt, I tried lots of things to help me feel better & lift my mood, such as retail therapy & going out with friends, but by far the one I liked most was foreign travel. This was because, to me it represented an escape from the situation I was in & the chance to live a different life, in a more exciting place, even if it was for a few days. Whilst my “escapades” have included trips to many countries in Europe, North America, & the Far East, my longest & most ambitious trip was having a month off to attend my cousins wedding in Australia.

On the outward journey, I was full of thoughts about how exciting this trip was going to be, the places I would see & the people I would meet, but on my return, I started to feel very down because I was having to return to reality, something that I had tried hard to escape from. To make matters worse, when I did arrive home, I received some bad news & almost immediately became overcome by the negative feelings I had inside & tried so hard to keep a lid on. The effect was so shocking, it caused me to have nervous breakdown.

Once that happened, none of the things that made me feel better previously offered me any relief & so finally I was forced to acknowledge that I needed to find a more permanent solution to help me recover from the painful feelings I had inside & so began a journey that was to take about 20 years……..

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In session 4, we will look at the range of “quick fixes” we might use to make ourselves feel better, as well as learning that these things often merely distract us from the pain we feel. We will then move on to look at the preparation of a Loss History Graph, which may not be an easy process, but is nevertheless a very important part of your road to recovery.

Lisa Richards: Certified Grief Recovery Specialist